Shop Mobile More Submit  Join Login

100 points GIVEAWAY! CLOSED!

Journal Entry: Sat Mar 16, 2013, 5:09 AM


Im giving aways 50 :points: to two lucky people.

1. way to win: FAV this journal

* winner will be choosen via random number generator and he/she gets 50 :points:

2. way to win: tell me joke. Simply comment here with some joke/ funny story:)

* Ill choose the most funny comment and author gets 50 :points:

deadline: 30.3.2013, 23:59 middle Europe time

PS: you can try both ways to win (and you even can win twice:))

  • Mood: Joy
  • Reading: some shool scripts
  • Playing: Assassin Creed
  • Eating: homemade cookies!
Add a Comment:
 
:iconmrsyellow36:
MrsYellow36 Featured By Owner Jun 1, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
It's never too late to write jokes :meow:
Reply
:iconscarlette13:
scarlette13 Featured By Owner Jun 2, 2013
totally agree:)
Reply
:iconmrsyellow36:
MrsYellow36 Featured By Owner Jun 1, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Why did the Mexican man push his wife off a cliff?
Tequila! :iconlaplz:
Reply
:iconscarlette13:
scarlette13 Featured By Owner Jun 2, 2013
:D
Reply
:icondragonberry146:
dragonberry146 Featured By Owner May 29, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
When your running down a hall and someone opens a door and you run your face into it what do you do?
Reply
:iconbbforever:
bbforever Featured By Owner May 9, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
the guy asks the girl, "are you mixed?" the girl says, "no, why?" he says, "because you look like a mix of Chinese and angel." lol my cheesey jokes
Reply
:iconbluepuppyartist:
BluePuppyArtist Featured By Owner Apr 16, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
faved i idk if this still open but
joke:

3 people are on an air plane about to crash a mom dad and baby there is only 2 para shoots the parents decide to leave the baby and jump when the get home they see the baby watching cartoons the asked how'd u get here? the baby says baby hold on daddy butt daddy go toot baby go ZOOOOM
Reply
:iconscarlette13:
scarlette13 Featured By Owner Apr 17, 2013
sorry, its closed (as the title says)
Reply
:iconbluepuppyartist:
BluePuppyArtist Featured By Owner Apr 17, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Oh ok i just wanted to share the joke
Reply
:iconacrowscollection:
ACrowsCollection Featured By Owner Mar 30, 2013  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
faved!

Two guys walk into a bar. You'd think the second one would have noticed it.
Reply
:iconscarlette13:
scarlette13 Featured By Owner Mar 31, 2013
:)
Reply
:iconlinkwolf998:
linkwolf998 Featured By Owner Mar 30, 2013  Hobbyist Artist
faved and I found this joke on the internet There were three guys on a plane. One bit into an apple, thought it was too sweet. He threw it out the window. The second guy bit into a lemon, thought it was too sour, threw it out the window. The third guy bit into a grenade, thought it was too crunchy and threw it out the window. When the plane landed, they got off and saw a lil girl crying. They ask, "lil girl, why are you crying?" She says, " An apple fell out of the sky and hit my cow on the head and now he's dead." Then the men see a lil boy crying. The men ask, "lil boy, why are you crying?" The lil boy says," A lemon fell out of the sky and hit my dog on the head and now she's dead" The men keep walking until they find a blond woman laughing histarically. They ask," woman, why are you laughing so histarically?" She says,"I just farted and that building blew up!" ;p
Reply
:iconscarlette13:
scarlette13 Featured By Owner Mar 31, 2013
lol:)
Reply
:iconkarinta:
Karinta Featured By Owner Mar 30, 2013  Student General Artist
Faved.

Oh, and my friend came up with this one: "I once considered the possibility that I had ADD, but I didn't pay attention to it." :iconhahaplz:
Reply
:iconscarlette13:
scarlette13 Featured By Owner Mar 31, 2013
lol:)
Reply
:icongetterm95:
getterm95 Featured By Owner Mar 30, 2013
Faved.

Three guys, stranded on a desert island, find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy says "I’m lonely. I wish my friends were back here."
Reply
:iconscarlette13:
scarlette13 Featured By Owner Mar 30, 2013
lol:)
Reply
:iconrumeiiko:
Rumeiiko Featured By Owner Mar 29, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
This is a Twilight reference so I'm sorry if you don't understand it.... ^^; (faved the journal too~)

Bella: Edward. I know what you are. You're white, you're thin, and you suck up blood.
Edward: Say it! Say it out loud!
Bella: A tampon.
Reply
:iconscarlette13:
scarlette13 Featured By Owner Mar 30, 2013
(I know Twilight)

lol. that was hillarious:P
Reply
:iconthecannibalwolf:
TheCannibalWolf Featured By Owner Mar 28, 2013  Hobbyist Filmographer
Once, my fourth grade teacher's father and two other men went hunting. One was a newbie, and her father and the other guy weren't. So, they would split up in a two and one(there were three of them). Her father and his team mate put chocolate raisins in the middle of the forest. The newbie found it and ate it, "The deer is five minutes away!"
I thought that was funny when I heard it.
Reply
:iconscarlette13:
scarlette13 Featured By Owner Mar 29, 2013
:)
Reply
:iconn30nf4g:
N30NF4G Featured By Owner Mar 28, 2013
A teacher brought in Lifesavers candy for her grade kindergarten class. She gave each of them a certain color and they had to guess the flavor.
Red.... Cherry.
Green.... Lime.
Yellow.... Lemon.
Orange.... Orange.
But the class couldn't figure out the flavor for the light yellow candy, which was honey. The teacher said "I will give you all a clue. It's what your mom calls your dad all the time."
A little girl looked up at the teacher and spit hers out before screaming "OH MY GOD, IT'S ASSHOLE!"
Reply
:iconscarlette13:
scarlette13 Featured By Owner Mar 29, 2013
great!:D
Reply
:icondiasam1:
DiaSam1 Featured By Owner Mar 28, 2013
Why did the girl take a ladder to the school?
Because it's a high school.

((Sorry for the lame joke. ;u; I entered by faving the journal, as well. ^^'))
Reply
:iconscarlette13:
scarlette13 Featured By Owner Mar 29, 2013
lol:)
Reply
:iconbubblemoon66:
bubblemoon66 Featured By Owner Mar 27, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Well, I know this one joke about a pizza but it's kind of cheesy.
Reply
:iconscarlette13:
scarlette13 Featured By Owner Mar 27, 2013
:)
Reply
:iconwolf4821:
Wolf4821 Featured By Owner Mar 26, 2013
Faved the journal~ <33
Now time for my -hopefully- funny story~ [:
So once upon a time, my cousin & iWent out to Dunkin Doughnuts & brought home a box of doughnuts.
Now see, iHad this ONE doughnut that iLoved because yeah.
My favorite kind.
Anywho~
My cousin ate it.
iGot pissed.
Got one of his tube socks.
And a stick of butter.
Made a butter sock.
Smacked him with it.
He never touched one of my doughnuts again~ [:
Reply
:iconscarlette13:
scarlette13 Featured By Owner Mar 27, 2013
interesting way how to protect your doughnuts:D
Reply
:iconwolf4821:
Wolf4821 Featured By Owner Mar 27, 2013
iFlipped my shit
Like
BITCH
I'LL GO ALL POWER RANGERS ON YOUR ASS
THROWING CARS N' SHIT
FLINGING THEM AROUND LIKE KATANAS
Reply
:iconnightambush:
Nightambush Featured By Owner Mar 24, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
That awkward moment where you are at school clicking your pen and your teacher tells you to stop but you have to click it one more time to get the tip out.
Reply
:iconscarlette13:
scarlette13 Featured By Owner Mar 25, 2013
lol. I know it:)
Reply
:iconcatunicorn5841:
catunicorn5841 Featured By Owner Mar 23, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Why Did the here flush the toilet?
A: It way his Duty/Doody :)

How do you make a napkin dance?
A: You put a little boogie in it!

Hot Chili
You have left the right path.

Hope you like them! I faved this journal too!
Reply
:iconscarlette13:
scarlette13 Featured By Owner Mar 23, 2013
:)
Reply
:iconnamdyaillust:
NamdYaIllust Featured By Owner Mar 23, 2013  Student General Artist
A newlywed couple moves into their new house. One day the husband comes home from work and his wife says, "Honey, you know, in the upstairs bathroom one of the pipes is leaking, could you fix it?" The husband says, "What do I look like, Mr. Plumber?" A few days go by, and he comes home from work and his wife says, "Honey, the car won't start. I think it needs a new battery. Could you change it for me?" He says: "What do I look like, Mr. Goodwrench?" Another few days go by, and it's raining pretty hard. The wife finds a leak in the roof. She says, "Honey, there's a leak on the roof! Can you please fix it?" He says, "What do I look like, Bob Vila?" The next day the husband comes home, and the roof is fixed. So is the plumbing. So is the car. He asks his wife what happened. "Oh, I had a handyman come in and fix them," she says. "Great! How much is that going to cost me?" he snarls. Wife says: "Nothing. He said he'd do it for free if I either baked him a cake or slept with him." "Uh, well, what kind of cake did you make?" asks the husband. "What do I look like," she says, "Betty Crocker?"
Reply
:iconscarlette13:
scarlette13 Featured By Owner Mar 23, 2013
lol. great!:D
Reply
:iconkarai0318:
Karai0318 Featured By Owner Mar 21, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
[link] << at the bottom
Reply
:iconchameleonskyes:
chameleonskyes Featured By Owner Mar 20, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
Thanks for the opportunity!

Anyways, my school has a history teacher who always has a stern face on and almost never smiles. One day before our finals, he said that whoever could make him laugh would receive extra credit.

Numerous failed American History jokes later, a girl raised her hand.

"What did the fish say when it hit the wall?"

The teacher stared at her. "Owww?"

She smiled. "It said 'damn!'"

And then the teacher cracked up and hid behind his hands. She got the extra credit. :XD:
Reply
:iconscarlette13:
scarlette13 Featured By Owner Mar 23, 2013
lol. thats funny story:)
Reply
:iconchameleonskyes:
chameleonskyes Featured By Owner Mar 23, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
Glad you like it :XD:
Reply
:iconflirtingwithinsanity:
You being sick made me think of a funny memory. (This doesn't have to count towards the giveaway-not a joke.)

When I was really little, I wasn't feeling well and I wanted something cold to put on my forehead.
My dad looked in the freezer and pulled out a bag of frozen vegetables.
"Here sweetheart," he said, handing me the bag of frozen peas.
"NO! I don't want that!!" I said.
"Why not?" my dad asked, confused.
"I don't want pee on the bed!"

(Peas=frozen vegetables. Pee=urinate. They sound the same, and to a child who was not feeling well and had recently been potty-trained, it was a scary thought. My dad ended up giving me a bag of frozen broccoli instead, and laughed for a really long time. I thought he was being mean at the time, because I was actually worried. Now I just think it's stupid and funny too.)

Another one is when I was also sick...and this was a few months ago:

I was laying on the couch and my cat sat down on the floor and looked up at me.
"Meow"
"What do you want Marco?"
"MEOWWWWW"
*sigh* "You want marshmallows? Fine."
I got up, went into my kitchen and got a jar of marshmallow creme. I put some on a spoon, sat down cross-legged on the floor, and held it out to him.
"Wait a second! You can't have that! It'll make you sick!"
"Meowww..."
I took it away, and as I was cleaning, I wondered how I had marshmallow creme in my house. I don't like marshmallows, so I don't buy them. :O_o: I had no idea when I had bought it, and I didn't know why I thought my cat wanted it....or why I thought my cat was talking to me...^^;

I shouldn't be left alone when I'm sick! I get weird! lol. :)
Reply
:iconscarlette13:
scarlette13 Featured By Owner Mar 23, 2013
:lmao: its nice to be able to laugh on yourself. at least you have funny stories to tell.:)
Reply
:iconflirtingwithinsanity:
Oh yeah, lots of funny stories. ^^;
I'm...erm...special I guess? Or just silly? Naive? Whatever you want to call it. I've had lots of stupid moments in my life...

Like when I was REALLY little and me and my sisters took baths together...I convinced them that there was an "impoppable bubble" that they should try to find. We would spend the whole time in the bubble bath looking for that bubble that wouldn't pop. :XD:
Reply
:iconscarlette13:
scarlette13 Featured By Owner Mar 23, 2013
lol. the bubble story is really hillarious. I think that this kind of things simply happen, all you need is sense of humor to laugh on them instead of feeling stupid or something. remember all polls? all crazy things we did?:XD:
Reply
:iconflirtingwithinsanity:
Oh yeah, they do, and I really enjoy those memories. I do laugh at myself, even though I still feel kind of stupid for doing that in the first place. :D
Reply
:iconkitsuraki:
Kitsuraki Featured By Owner Mar 20, 2013   General Artist
Chemistry jokes get not reaction.

Physics jokes on the other hand have potential.
Reply
:iconscarlette13:
scarlette13 Featured By Owner Mar 23, 2013
great!:D
Reply
:iconcuteplayfulfeet:
CutePlayfulFeet Featured By Owner Mar 20, 2013
Oooh I've got a joke~! :la: A three-year old walks over to a pregnant lady and asks, "Why is your stomach so big?"

"I'm having a baby,” she replies.

"Is the baby in your stomach?" he asks with his big eyes.

"Yes, it is," she says.

"Is it a good baby?" he asks with a puzzled look.

"Oh, yes, a really good baby," the lady replies.

The boy is shocked and asks, "Then why did you eat him?"

xD :giggle:
Reply
:iconscarlette13:
scarlette13 Featured By Owner Mar 20, 2013
lol. good one:D
Reply
:iconcuteplayfulfeet:
CutePlayfulFeet Featured By Owner Apr 5, 2013
Thanks! :aww:
Reply
Add a Comment:
 
×

:iconscarlette13: More from scarlette13


Featured in Collections

Journals by BrightenYourSmile

Journals by SakuraTenshi101

Contests and events by Eitvys200


More from DeviantArt



Details

Submitted on
March 16, 2013
Link
Thumb

Stats

Views
2,814
Favourites
76 (who?)
Comments
170
×