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But, why and if. Three powerful words are whole essence of this chapter (and often, they´re essential also in the real life). Everything is reduced to struggling against but, trying to find out why and wishing for if.
And while main characters are having their own troubles, few hidden motives are discovered. Finally!
By the way: I was asked to bring Alexander back to story, thus this is the first step. Watching secret plotting of Mafia, we´ll meet the wicked lawyer again. And few real Mafiosi as well. Remember woman with the hat?
next chapter: fav.me/d5snt8s
And while main characters are having their own troubles, few hidden motives are discovered. Finally!
By the way: I was asked to bring Alexander back to story, thus this is the first step. Watching secret plotting of Mafia, we´ll meet the wicked lawyer again. And few real Mafiosi as well. Remember woman with the hat?
next chapter: fav.me/d5snt8s
Mature
© 2013 - 2024 scarlette13
Comments14
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Overall
Vision
Originality
Technique
Impact
Alright. First and foremost I shall begin with an overall assessment. It's a great piece of work! The previous chapters were focused somewhat on plot development in my opinion and this one, on the other hand, employs a great deal of introspection that adds some mystery and though to the story.
Revealing the character's thoughts and inner feelings add detail and insight to a story, and its use is highly exemplified in this chapter. However, do note that excessive use of introspection may backfire as too much of it makes a chapter boring.
Secondly, I enjoy the development of the story in the first half of the chapter. (The second half was mainl introspection as I said earlier) It fuels anticipation and mystery and despite it being a regular conversation, it has a lot of vague details, this you are telling readers something but not revealing the whole picture to them.
Great work! Hope to see more great chapters! (By the way, ignore the vision rating since it has no relation to a text.)